


The Most Important Lesson

by wonderminterplus



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderminterplus/pseuds/wonderminterplus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Belcher kids at a museum. What could go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Important Lesson

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverr/gifts).



> Done for 2013 Yuletide. I hope this story is enjoyed. I'll admit I've never written for Bob's Burgers before. But I do love the show so that helped.

“Whose great idea was it to bring the kids to a museum?” Bob grumbled.

The city museum left something to be desired. It wasn’t the most well funded museum and for that suffered in the exhibit department. With attractions such as the world's smelliest rock or 

Linda wasn’t amused by Bob’s grumbling at all. She turned to Bob with her hands on her hips.

“Okay Grumbling Gus. I know that going to the museum isn’t exactly what you wanted to do today. But the kids could really use some culture.” Linda said.

Bob looked towards Louise who was looking at the worlds sharpest pocket knife exhibit with a little too much interest. It made Bob uncomfortable and he pulled Louise away from the exhibit. 

“I think they are cultured enough.” Bob said.

Linda obviously didn’t agree as she kept talking now with a slight frown added to her face.

“Let’s be honest. After those last report cards I think a little education is a good thing.” Linda added.

Gene chose this moment to chime in.

“The D stands for doing good.” Gene said.

“No. It doesn’t stand for that.” Bob said.

“I’m pretty sure it does.” Gene said.

Bob sighed and glanced around to take account of the last and oldest of his three children.

“Tina, get away from that statute.” Bob said.

Tina was staring up at the marble statue of a roman gladiator. Or rather she was staring at it’s butt.

“Hello gluteus maximus.” Tina whispered.

“Okay Tina. You’re done.” Bob said as he started to lead his eldest daughter away.

Bob looked to Linda again.

“It’s not too late to just bring the kids somewhere else.” he said.

Somewhere along the line that afternoon Tina,Gene, and Louise had slipped away from their parents and looked around the museum on their own. Currently the Belcher children were looking at the display of the replica of the car from the movie “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.”. The replica was a bit off in it’s coloring but the children were not concerned with that at all. Rather a different question was on all their minds.

“Do you think it works?” Tina asked.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Louise said.

Louise then ducked under the velvet rope around the exhibit and started to climb into the car. There was no alarm so for the time being her actions went unnoticed. She adjusted herself into the front seat before the steering wheel.

“Gene, make a distraction for me while I fire this baby up.” Louise said.

“I was born for distraction!” Gene cried.

Without further prompting Gene ran off with his trusty megaphone in hand. Moments later Gene was heard yelling at the mammoth exhibit. Louise caught the mention of if in the Flintstones and mammoths being showers for the cavemen was only furthering their kinds slavery. Then he attempted to wrestle with the Mammoth’s trunk.

That was a good enough distraction to bring the guards within the vicinity running over. Immediately Louise 

“Do you need help?” Tina asked.

“I’m fine Tina! Geez!” Louise snapped.

Ignoring Tina now, Louise had decided what lever to pull first when a museum guard approached, pulling Gene over with him.

“Excuse me young lady. But what do you think you’re doing? You’re not allowed to mess with that replica.” the guard said.

Louise didn’t look up at the guard at first. She was trying to get the car to start. When that didn’t happen she slammed her fist on the dashboard and yelled.

“Stupid peice of junk!”

“Miss, please step out of the vehicle.” the guard insisted.

“You had one job Gene! One job! But could you do that? Nooooo.” Louise cried.

The guard ignored Louise outburst and kept the stern look on his face,

“I’ll have to ask you exit the vehicle young lady.” The guard said.

“Better men then you have tried and failed.” Louise said.

The guard crossed his arms sternly.

“I doubt that highly. Now I am going to count to three…”

Louise glanced at the guards name tag and let out a deep sigh.

“Look, Rick is it? You should just give up right now. I eat guys like you for breakfast.”

“It’s true.” Tina chimed in. “Sometimes for lunch too.”

The guard wasn’t amused. He took Louise’s arm and attempted to pull her out of the car. Louise didn’t take that well. She let herself be pulled out enough so that she could get the room to pull her foot back. Then Louise kicked the guard hard in the shin. A light cracking noise was heard when she did.

“Aghh!” the guard shouted before collapsing.

“Man down! Man down!” the guard shouted.

“Cheese it!” Louise cried.

The Belcher children ran from the scene, leaving the guard to suffer on the floor. No one dared to look back.

Rick searched the halls of the museum with the attention of a hawk seeking prey. At least that what he told himself in his inner monologue. His inner thoughts were a lot richer than his outer life.

“Those little brats have to be around here somewhere.” the guard muttered to himself as he veered into the prehistoric wing. 

Little did he know that he was zeroing in on the childrens location.The Belcher children had moved the cave people models in the wing, and taken their pelts for themselves as disguises. Rick didn’t notice anything amiss until Gene’s stomach rumbled.

The sound stopped Rick in his tracks.

Rick paused at the cave people exhibit a moment. Long enough to study Gene. To his credit Gene didn’t move an inch.

“Hmm.. that cave man got uglier I swear.” the guard said.

He frowned a bit at Gene before leaving to continue his search. The moment the guard was gone 

“Ugly? My looks are fun, not fashionable!” Gene cried. “Also his breath was not minty fresh.”

“We need to get this guy off our back.” Louise said.

She jumped down from the exhibit as she schemed. Many of the exhibits had potential to be part of a revenge plan. But she wanted to make sure the one she chose would have the most spectacular effect.Then she saw the perfect exhibit to use.

“We’re going to have to take a little trip to that store on the corner. But I have a plan.” Louise said.

 

“Where are the kids?” Linda asked.

Lindas question was answered when someone shouted and pointed.

“Those cave children are climbing the giant baking soda volcano exhibit.” someone cried.

“Please don’t be the kids. Just please-” Bob said before he looked in the direction of the pointing.

As expected Tina, Gene, and Louise were climbing up the volcano, Gene and Tina hauling large jugs of vinegar and bags containing baking soda.

“Now!” Louise cried.

Tina and Gene poured the vinegar and baking soda into the volcano. 

The results were spectacular. Foam sprayed in many directions, covering the patrons. Eventually the foam built up enough that it started to push both people and exhibits. Rick and some of the other security guards were attempting to push back some of the exhibits against the pressure of the foam.

“No no no!” Rick cried before giving a cry of anguish when the foam overtook him.

It wasn’t long before the foam, people and exhibits, burst out the front doors of the museum, covering the streets in front of it. Bob and Linda were wiping foam from their faces when their children approached.

“I think we’re done here.” Louise said.

Linda sighed a bit.

“I hope you at least learned something today.” she said.

“Nope. But Rick sure did. And that lesson is to not mess with me.”


End file.
